i lied here's the real about mei'll get a knack for this
     i'm in love with like three or four girls at a time but naturally i'm going to loathe them all, big heart small container equals i'm not going to like you, for long or i'm going to like you very little chance is.

you could become one of those girls


I'M ACTUALLY OVER HERE AT STRYVERS, THIS IS JUST A PLACING SLOT FOR ALL PRETTY THINGS

He lit a cigarette. His glass of whiskey lit a cigarette. “I can only truly love my dead best friend,” he said, “but not in a gay way. Women wouldn’t understand. They’re too gay.” Both of the cigarettes agreed.

― from Mallory Ortberg’s hilarious “Male Novelist Jokes.” (via stjustice)